Things have kind of gone wrong. I suppose wrong doesn’t really mean the same as you might think in this situation. I’m having a rethink of which direction I should take next…
I made it out of Tallinn at 8am on Tuesday morning, drove on to Narva, 284 km. I was there at the border just before 12 and queing in the traffic to access border control. I had made a couple of mistakes of getting in to wrong queues but only for a few minutes. The signs are in English but still it takes a lot of guess work.
The first border entrance seemed pretty clean and easy, examination of paperwork a look around the bike for VIN numbers and on I went. Now I thought this was easy but I was also dying for a pee so didn’t think too much about it all. Then the next set of checkpoints loomed. I should have realised, I was in no-mans-land.
The border into Russia had only just begun…the paperwork was in Russian, while the guards were cool and quite freindly I was confused.
The crossing is done at 6 to 8 feet intervals and you must not EVER cross the next line without being told, truncheons come out and guards come over to you if your wheel goes over the line. Look on the bright side at least it’s not their guns!
Finally the last proper border gate is paperwork. I handed over the docs and got some migration cards and customs paperwork in return along with an impressive A5 certificate in Russian embossed and colourful.
Thinking everything was in order I continued on , passport shown and off I went into Russia. It all took about 2 hours. The roads were noticably worse than the Estonian side and at one point I saw a man on a little rotavator that had been converted into a car type thing. The buildings were run down and there seemed to be a lot of men in groups not doing an awful lot.
20 or 30 km further down the road there was a road block, I’ve read that the Police here don”t make things obvious, but if you don’t stop they do shoot and claim you were trying to escape - according to the Rough Guide to Russia anyway.
A copper waved his arm by his side and I assumed that meant me so I pulled over, handed over my documents and he was very specific to ask, in english, for my insurance. My documents were not in order and he wanted me to come into the station. I say station but it was actually a pretty run down building, cells to the left painted dark pink, bars to the doors, a flap to the right which held a TV and the police had the good manners to turn the volume down. In front of me was the 3 foot truncheon collection and riot gear, not that they needed to intimidate me. I did notice there was a cell empty.
They said my documents werent in order and they intend to inpound my bike in St. Petersberg, remove the registration and fine me, apparently a huge fine. They showed me a small document booklet that explained how they are able to do this and what the legislation was, this was in all languages, so it had some kind of believability to it. There were three of them taking it in turns to question me then they went outside and i could hear them laughing. I thought at this point I had a decent chance.
They asked for some money and I produced a fake credit card and 400 rubbles which is about eight pounds, also had Polish Zloty about five pounds worth and Czeck Krone, Estonian EEk and about 40 euros.
I told them I had just got through the border and needed a Bankomat, so I couldn’t pay any fine. At this point the fine got smaller and the more strange currencies I put on the table the smaller the fine got. Eventually the Policeman gave me directions to a Bankomat. I said I needed to go on the motorcylce and this is when stuff got strange.
First he brought out a small baby kitten in his hand and said it was cute, then he said I need to buy Russian papers from a man across the road from the Bankomat and gave me directions, then he asked if I liked the cat. Then said if I pay the fine and get the papers I would have no more problems in Russia, but thought I would not make it through Russia alive on my own on a bike. He also thought I didn’t understand that Russian roads were bad, I said I know they have been awful so far and he laughed out loud and exclaimed these are the good ones!
Would I also like to buy the cat?
I would have to pass back past them to pay the fine, then I could go on to St. Petersburg.
So now I’m sitting in a car park near the Bankomat surrounded by Russia and Russians.
Do you turn and run or pay the fine and buy the papers and continue, do you think this will happen again and again and again until there is no money left?
I feel such a wimp!
I Dare not leave the bike long enough to take a pee so I pee up the back wheel, the guys hagging around are particularly rough and I’m guessing I dont fit in that well… I saw a police car turn the corner so I wait until he is out of sight, start the engine and run for the border, tail between my legs.
Two and a half hours through customs, then running back to Tallin but I don’t have any Estonian cash and need fuel but luckily my spare jerry has 5 litres in. I make it back to Tallin and park up unpack and go for food.
After the chinese I throw up something awful and end up going to bed around 4:30 am after joining in a party in the rooms where I’m booked. Absolutely hammered and sleep the next day away.
Still not sure if I’ve done the right thing. But don’t have a choice now, the visa is used. I’ve heard similar from the guys where I’m staying, even a coach tour has been turned over and emptied of cash and sent back to Estonia. A Russian guy here says I’ve picked a terrible border to cross as there is a history of violence and abbuse and I should get a new visa and try again. He also says it would be much better if I spoke Russian. Bit late to learn I feel.
Didn’t think I would give up so easily though.
The Adventure, Visa's
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