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Tomorrow is an important day…

February 1st, 2010

Ive been in Kollam and then onto allepey, a fabulous and fortuitous meeting with a fella named Jay in the train station has lead me to find a whole host of new friends.
after swimming with dolphins, houseboat cruises in the backwaters and canoeing down the canals and inland water ways, I buried two swedish guys and two indians in the sand, got terribly drunk, partied most of the night, but not managed to stay awake till morning and, very momentously, I have passed the 300th day of travelling!

 

so the news is, tomorrow im buying a rickshaw and Im taking it to the most southern point in India, then up to Chennai, its tight in time, but I have FAITH!

theres much more to say, like the Sweedes are coming with me and we only have one day to buy it, prepare it and get documents sorted, but thats enough for now since theres only two people reading this these days!

Its going to work ! I know it because Im thinking positive!

Oh and I heard from Z&A in Poland. very pleased and glad they remember me.

 

love to you all

taaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaa

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God was the last person on this PC

January 25th, 2010

well he was the last one signed in. I wonder what his password was? Armageddon, forbidden fruit, one more rib one trillion less brain ce…. no better not go there!

(Didnt mean it girls)

Anywho, today has been just LUVERLY. I took a rickshaw to the back waters which was both exhilerating and incredibly bum numbing filling vibrating rough roadster going. It was like crossing a quarry on a BMX from 1979, not that I had one nor have I crossed a quarry but thats what my mind made of the roads.

The canoes are absolutely beautiful things made from planks of local wood, sewn together with twine and the gaps patched with coconut fibre weaving called coir. Then finished by a coat of fish oil, phew, and a second coat of cashew nut oil. Mine was about 7 metres long and i was alone, but with a guide and given a paddle.

I saw water snakes, ‘ickle fishes, bald eagles, clove trees, banana trees, pinapple trees, black pepper plants, hibiscus, and water lilies which were made into a necklace for me. Not very manly but still very interesting. I drank from coconuts, watched coir making (rope from coconut fibre) drank chai, ate some green plant thing, saw kingfishers, boated through a tiger prawn farm, ellagantly dodged some low bridges, unellegantly jumped over some other bridges only to just catch the boat the other side and played with cattle, ducks, hens and had a jolly time. Oh and was shown a plant that when you touch it it shrivels up and bows down. Does seem fair really, after all Im so much bigger. If a 500 foot giant vegatable poked me Id probably pee myself and cower quite a lot.

Then back at the rickshaw the inevitable, ‘wanna go somewhere very beautiful’ cropped up for a mere 500 rupees…haggled down to 350 and set off. The ferry was planks of wood tied across two boats, but once over the river the ride to the Temple began. Now the Temple was completely missable but the little monkeys running through the trees were different to those in the Sunderbun and very cute. The babies were cautious but eventually they took bananas from your hand and we were happy, Ajay and I. Ajay then attempted another 500 rupee ‘deal of the week’ but I suggest a trip back to Kollam. On route there was a festival begining in a shrine and two efalumps were there, apparently 50 will be there tomorow but these were fully grown monsters and really should be admired for the skill and dexterity of their trunks and their magnificance. They seem to have such an endearing quality, their eyes are so small and fabulously lashed while their movements are calculated and calm giving the impression of sublime contentment which only belies the truth, they apparently can turn very nasty if they choose.

Finally over a bridge and a great view over the Chinese fishing nets (I know….wrong continent!) and dinner of fried and grilled prawns in prawn curry with pita breads and prawns, mixed with a small prawn salad.

Ive just finished by a haircut and a shopping trip, believe it or not I’ve bought a shirt made in Nottingham, England. I thought I ought to be a little cosmopolitan.

Brand labels over here (real brand labels from reputable shops, not the fake stuff) still only go for peanuts.

I should really say for cashew nuts since this is the Capital of cashew nuts for the world.

Anyway Im off now and maybe not update for a little while as the computers are REALLY slow.

What to have for tea….might give prawns in cashewnut curry a go…

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I’ve been beaten up in Kollam

January 24th, 2010

They said it was a massage, but Im not so sure.

Dipped in hot oil, beaten for an hour, scolded in a stand up coffin, hosed down with a cold shower then had cinnamon rubbed  violently into my scalp. The irony comes when i thanked them for the laughter they brought while they destroyed my body, then tipped them a pound each!

They were so grateful they offered to carry me to the rickshaw, but for Gawds sake Im British, I cant be carried anywhere…can I?

Tempting isnt it?

Im in Kollam (Quillion) on the south west coast of India and I have to admit, this is more my kind of place. Less traffic, less noise, good ridence to the conmen and now little children look at me with wonder, as many of you do I realise, but they look and want to speak to me.

Little cuties with bare feet and dirty clothes, smudges of yesterday and last week all over them but clean souls and fabulous smiles. They aren’t caught by the materialistic driven nature of life and society. They are just out to see the strange man…I’ll leave part of that to your imagination.

Saw the efalumps today and had a ride with a Polish girl.

Hang on.

I mean I rode an Efalump and so did she. They poo and when they do its just unmissable, unless your wearing open toed sandals of course then Murphys Law kicks in and you kick into the… Unexpectably fibrous and yellow.  One of them was a teenage male not yet fully grown and when he got excited…it was bigger than my arm! (Calm down girls.)

Well gotta go but hope to write a little more tomorrow to fill you in backwards before I go forwards, I think Dan might drop in a few texts inbetween but you’ll get the idea Im sure.

Good luck and love to you all, especially those that I know need it more than others. xxx

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Text 16 Jan

January 16th, 2010

Im sleeping on a boat in the mouth of the ganges and the bay of bengal, i thought there was a bar…apparently it was either beer or oars and they made the wrong choice !!!

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Update on the 15th

January 15th, 2010

Well now the rant is over with… Calcutta today moving to two days on tiger safari tomorrow then i go to chennai on monday, where things should be considerably calmer! Just outside chennai is pondicherry where auroville is a subburb and i hope to meet a man that lectured on my postgrad. After62years of independance you have to wonder why the society hasnt developed more and i think this comes down to their historic values. There seems to be little collective consciousness, no driving will for an improvement for one by improving their environment for all. Sure they gravitate to the cities but that kind of collective is a shallower experience. Those that are better off seem beligerant and blind to those that arent, with a few notable exceptions. When you look at the baltic states as a comparator, they have accomplished much more with far less. Granted population density is different, maybe this explosion took the government by suprise, but this does not excuse those in power their inabilty to exercise it, along with their brains! My earlier frustration was not with the poor, they are simple and wanton, its more with the con guys who follow you for a km down the street where another takes over. Consistantly asking the same questions over and over, preying on polite behaviour and our guilt when they are told to piss off. Go away please just doesnt work! thats it for now, smile n see yer soon xxx

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This part

January 13th, 2010

This part of india is one of the worst places ive ever been. Im inprisoned in my room for some peace. The hawkers conmen and beggars wont leave me alone, my money is refused if slightly torn or creased, the taxis dont know where they are going, even when i show them a map to their own monuments im telling them when to bloody turn in a city thats really not that big, walking anywhere in 40 mins. Ive just been into a 4star hotel for quiet coffee n been surrounded by three guards while i sat…how the f*** can you relax. Had enough!

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From jo 12th Jan

January 12th, 2010

On a sleeper train to calcutta, it has a horn n everything !

24 hr train journey just gone to 26 then 31!!!
…..
Found a friend on the train for a while, 4hour delay but no problem, calcutta very slightly cleaner than delhi and less interferace from the hustlers, even cabs are clean, found hotel n must remember not to bounce on the bed when the fans switched on…ouch…ouch…ouch…

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Text 10/01/2010

January 11th, 2010

Found a friend on the train for a while, 4hour delay but no problem, calcutta very slightly cleaner than delhi and less interferace from the hustlers, even cabs are clean, found hotel n must remember not to bounce on the bed when the fans switched on…ouch…ouch…ouch…

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Received on 6th, sorry it’s a bit late guys

January 8th, 2010

Over here loo roll is a luxury and a jet of water suffices. Unfortunately if the tap is turned too little my sack gets a cold sharp shock, too much n a self administered enima means your very clean. Goodnight from a clean inside and out jo. X

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Delhi

January 8th, 2010

Here in Delhi…its cold!

Believe it or not Im shivering, maybe its not just the weather causing this but my chronic attack of bubbling bottom!

Sushmita has been fantastic and quite the love. Very easy to get on with and has taken me to some fabulous places, generally bars and restaurants…hmmm! Last night was especially spectacular, being picked up and wizzed off to a 5 star hotel for drinks, followed by a party into the wee hours with the Delhi Elite, who, dispite my appearance, where very accomodating and I felt I was accepted quite easily - dispite not being drunk and resorting to my showman tactics!

The streets are something of a dirty shock, even after Africa, however not nearly as much of a shock as the jet of cold water that sprays your bum after a no.2! Slight misdirection results in being cleansed inside and out!

Hotel is good, but the hot water needs an NVQ to get just right, but whos complaining for eight quid a night.

Im feeling shaky from last night but moving onto Calcutta on Sunday then onto a tiger sanctuary. Sush has taken it upon herself to organise me a little, which of course as many of you know is a nessecity. Shes listed the dont miss places and endorsed my view that maybe the Taj isnot worthy of a trip in its own right. Maybe on the way back up.

Gotta go luv yer x

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