I’ve been beaten up in Kollam
They said it was a massage, but Im not so sure.
Dipped in hot oil, beaten for an hour, scolded in a stand up coffin, hosed down with a cold shower then had cinnamon rubbed violently into my scalp. The irony comes when i thanked them for the laughter they brought while they destroyed my body, then tipped them a pound each!
They were so grateful they offered to carry me to the rickshaw, but for Gawds sake Im British, I cant be carried anywhere…can I?
Tempting isnt it?
Im in Kollam (Quillion) on the south west coast of India and I have to admit, this is more my kind of place. Less traffic, less noise, good ridence to the conmen and now little children look at me with wonder, as many of you do I realise, but they look and want to speak to me.
Little cuties with bare feet and dirty clothes, smudges of yesterday and last week all over them but clean souls and fabulous smiles. They aren’t caught by the materialistic driven nature of life and society. They are just out to see the strange man…I’ll leave part of that to your imagination.
Saw the efalumps today and had a ride with a Polish girl.
Hang on.
I mean I rode an Efalump and so did she. They poo and when they do its just unmissable, unless your wearing open toed sandals of course then Murphys Law kicks in and you kick into the… Unexpectably fibrous and yellow. One of them was a teenage male not yet fully grown and when he got excited…it was bigger than my arm! (Calm down girls.)
Well gotta go but hope to write a little more tomorrow to fill you in backwards before I go forwards, I think Dan might drop in a few texts inbetween but you’ll get the idea Im sure.
Good luck and love to you all, especially those that I know need it more than others. xxx
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