Jo Ackroyd’s Big Biking Adventure

Yes, I have an idea.

You seem to be losing confidence in yourself and your ability to be on your own and get through this. I suggest going and doing something else on your own that is outside of your comfort zone, like (for me) abseiling or something. Once you know that you can do that, you will know that you are capable of calming you down in a stressful situation, you can always rely on yourself, you can feel proud of yourself, but most important of all that you can be your own friend. I find it doesn’t matter if you talk to yourself (although now I’m living with Rich i do try to tone this down a bit, so as not to scare him too much), sometimes it helps to hear a voice.

Hope it helps, and if it doens’t, you’ll always have your best mates. You can come round any time - you may have to help decorate or something, but you can come round anytime x

Hi Hunny,

Something thing about phones, I took a shitty Nokia handset, which didn’t matter if it got nicked, and then I bought a new sim card at the cost of about 2.50 each different contry I went to…it worked really well, it did mean that my numer kept changing, but as you are going to be in the same part of the world for lengths of time I wouldn’t imagine it would take that long. Just store the numbers to the phone not the sim card and away you go, nice and easy really- although you can’t track yourself on it! Oh and you can buy sim cards EVERYWHERE, honestly, there might not be any food but the phone companies have managed to pursuade people that a phone is the essance of life!

On the point of faith, I know you don’t beleive in God as such, but I am going to start praying for you, not that you can believe but so that all of the things which are goin wrong, or doubts that you have are resolved. It will take time, but I have faith it will work! So I’m not going to preach and I’m not going to tell you what I am praying for, but just so you know that I am.

It is lonely. There are times when it is really lonely, but concentrate on the adventure and the excitement and don’t worry so much, after all what does worrying do for you apart from make you focus on the problems, as someone sensible once said, ” Who by worrying can add a single hour to his life”.

Faith in humanity is hard to find, becasue we are all a little off balance, but still think of the people you are going to meet and the wonderful world you are going to see. I said I wan’t going to tell you but I am going to pray that you find Joy, not just happiness which is in a moment but everlasting Joy in your heart.

Ok, enough I need to go back to work. But oooo cooking you should seriously look at turning your bike into a big oven!!

Sloppy snogs and see you soon

sazzle

Hi Matey really great to see you at the salsa last night.
It was a pity we couldn’t talk for longer. Wanted to hear more.
CANT BELEIVE IT!!!
You stole my adventure fantasy the one I play in my head when it all gets too much very spooky that.
You are so gonna have the time of your life!!!! You wont need any luck because you are a capable monkey and thats good.
Worry well I am an expert at this I have made a career out of it and consequently talked myself out of all my adventures its like when you have an appointment at the hospital and your scared shittless maybe they will lose some of my gibblets when they open me up or I wont wake up after the anaestheic pah!! and then they give you all those wonderful free drugs and the world is a wonderful multi-faceted place you
And next day you think doh what in the world was I worried about??
Worry gives you an edge make you dangerous, good thing in a scarry world you are a Monkey Warrior pure adreneline coarsing through your veins far superior to office pressure fat blocked arterys an colestrol cocktail of life in scabby dowdey Britain
shout every day I am a Monkey Genius and the world is my treehouse.
Chill mate ENJOY!!

This type of loneliness may partly explain why, for instance, some people can sustain seemingly close relationships with a partner, children, friends and family, yet still feel a deep-seated inescapable sense of loneliness.

Loneliness, he stresses, is not the same as being alone. There is a world of difference between solitude and loneliness.

The latter is a negative state, marked by a sense of loss and isolation. On the other hand, solitude is a state of being alone without being lonely. Deep reading, thinking, experiencing the beauty of nature and the simple things in life all require solitude.

But whatever the roots of loneliness - everyday or existential - there is overwhelming evidence that it is damaging our health.

Recent research from Chicago University added to the already persuasive bank of evidence showing that the rate for virtually every major cause of death is significantly higher for the lonely, single, divorced and widowed.

Social isolation is as much a risk factor for early mortality as obvious physical ones such as smoking and obesity.

The problem is that those people marooned in loneliness are unlikely to have the head- space to care about the adverse consequences to their longevity, or, perhaps more importantly, the energy or desire to do anything about it.

Added to this is the fact that even though almost every one of us will feel lonely at one point or another, it is a state of mind that we all fear, are ill-equipped to deal with, and very reluctant to admit.

In our highly competitive, perfection-obsessed society, it feels like an admission of failure and a sign of weakness to acknowledge a feeling of loneliness.

In many ways, it is easier to admit depression or an addiction, both of which are sometimes called diseases of loneliness.

I should know. A few years ago, I left a job in a bustling daily newspaper office to work from home.

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One or two friends said they couldn’t do it - they feared they wouldn’t get out of their pyjamas or would be addicted to daytime TV.

I tried to focus on the positive: no commuting, no more office politics, complete freedom and flexibility. I turned a room in my small flat into an office and set to work.

For a while, I tried to convince myself I was coping. But I wasn’t. Much of the time I sat staring at my computer screen or my four walls, in silence and in tears, waiting for my phone to ring or for an email to arrive, unable to motivate myself.

Although I initially tried to put on a cheery facade to the outside world, I began to find that it required too much energy.

So I withdrew. I lived on my own and, unsurprisingly, began to feel increasingly isolated and alone.

I remember a good friend saying to me: ‘Just phone people. Just make the effort to go out and meet people.’

But that is a bit like telling a smoker or an alcoholic just to quit; or telling someone who is chronically depressed just to get out of bed and go and do voluntary work. It’s a bit more complicated.

It also adds to any guilt you’re feeling, because you look at the world around you and ask yourself what you’ve got to complain about - which makes you feel even more pathetic.

At the time, I remember thinking about all the simple things I really missed about having colleagues - chatting about something on TV the previous night, or a story in the papers, or just office gossip.

I missed something I’d taken completely for granted - conversation.

It struck me that for the first time in my life, since starting primary school, then going to college and doing various jobs, I had to face every day with nothing but my four walls for company.

I’d always thought I was comfortable with my own company, I’d spent plenty of weekends and evenings on my own, and occasionally travelled alone; but this level of isolation was completely different.

I ended up going to my GP and being prescribed Prozac. I also went into therapy.

Although there were other things complicating my life, when I look back I think the fundamental issue at the root of everything was this isolation and loneliness, much of it self-inflicted, and the connected but even more deeply-buried fears of rejection, failure and inadequacy.

Women are bombarded with the message, overt and subliminal, that if only we could get the perfect body, the perfect partner, the perfect job, the perfect handbag, then perfect happiness would follow.

It is little wonder that more and more people, failing to live up to these expectations, end up feeling depressed and lonely.

On top of that, we live in an increasingly isolated world.

Many people are finding it easier to have an intimate relationship with their laptop than with other people.

But humans are hardwired to connect with other humans. The need to belong, to be accepted, is a powerful, fundamental and pervasive motivation.

Without deep, positive, reciprocal bonds, neither individual nor species survival is possible. Yet we seem to be losing this ability to connect.

Two years ago, a U.S. study found that, on average, most adults had only two people they could talk to about the most important subjects in their lives - serious health problems, for instance, or issues like who would care for their children should they die.

A quarter said they had no close confidantes at all.

The study provoked widespread debate, with researchers saying it should provide a wake-up call.

But, if anything, we’ve become even more isolated and fragmented.

In his famous book, Broken Heart: The Medical Consequences Of Loneliness, psychologist James Lynch, who first identified the links between human loneliness and the vulnerability to disease and premature death, called loneliness a lethal but avoidable poison. He urged people to talk to each other.

‘Dialogue is the elixir of life, and chronic loneliness its lethal poison,’ he said, urging people to prioritise companionship and communication.

It sounds so simple, yet it requires a lot of effort to sustain deep, honest and meaningful human relationships.

It’s no guarantee against loneliness, but making that effort is, as far as I can see, the best recipe for a good and healthy life.