Jo Ackroyd’s Big Biking Adventure

If I look in wonder at the end of a gun, I’ll put my finger in the barrel and ask them if its real.

If I see a tea pot, I’ll assume there is a doormouse inside.

Another door will open on Sunday, with or without a potion. It’s important to me that I leave on cue. Not only to ensure that an early failure is avoided, but to ensure a real decision has been made.

I’ve never made a decision that means anything in my life. I have been a fortunate bystander. I’ve been a passenger in a car where I’m not the driver and now, in time counted in hours, I have the ability to take mental charge of my life.

It’s a considerable worry, if I get it wrong and I’m not a success, if I’m not up to the task and faulter away into hiding or if I grab it and use it and refuse to look back exploiting it for what it is, and could be.

I should remember that the success is measured by my means and my rule and not by others. I cherish the smiles along the way but I should also bear in mind the smile that matters first is my own. This sounds decidedly selfish and does not sit well with me but I also understand how a moments peace will come from many hours of perseverance.

By this I mean that I can’t expect to give others happiness if I don’t understand it myself.

My mortgage review is tomorrow, that’s a story in itself how the bank has played its own game in a falling market and told me my house is in negative equity. Their own property services have valued it last week at £15 more than I paid for it, their negative equity claims have come to nothing and the surveyors have revalued it and brought equity back into their unnatural virtual world of property values. It seems their only valuation, until I paid for an arbitrary individual surveyor, was based upon a computer model that’s run country wide.

Work continues, unfortunately. I feel they have missed the point, but then I’m sure every employee feels the same. Still they think Im insane, they cant understand why I might give up a job of work that they live and die for. They can’t see why life as it is, is not enough, they believe the only problem in the business lies completely at the door of their clients and the remodel of the business to suit a particular stream is not needed, if not an insult.

The bike needs a weight loss, as do I. The next feew days will be about harsh choices made in an environment where guess work is as close as I will get to knowing how, what and why things may be required. The things I pack are useful in some way I’m sure, but will they be useful to me in the circumstances I face?

I suppose I’ve also made an involuntary choice about malaria tablets, the nurse was incredibly unhelpful, virtually dumb by comparision to my expectations. I have a prescription but no knowledge. I think tomorrow will be a better day to pursue this with the chemist down the road.

I think I’ve been drinking for some time now, maybe a year and believing that the drink brings a solace of a type and style I dont find during daylight hours. I now know different.

The silence and solace is found in the daylight hours, the boredom is felt while the sun shines and the people around me toil and spoil to gather wealth. The entertainment comes with drinking. I change Lupin like into new thoughts, new challenges and interesting concepts. I see life through different eyes, different thoughts and bizarre emotions that begin to make sense in a surreal world where happiness law is obeyed and is policed by random kindness.

I know this isn’t the usual reteric. I know this goes against the grain and the mass thinking is that the reality is the sunshine and the stupour is the fantasy, but currently, I say that the Deja Vu of my world is more real than the society yo live in. My world has more love in it, more compasion, more fantasy and more possibility than the world where tin foil and orange peel create routines that might be currupted by my thoughts.

The door will be open on Sunday, I can walk through it, ride through it and begin to live a choice I’ve hidden from or I can have a huge prolapse!

Keep the faith!

Communication, Random Thoughts

Faith comes in the strangest of packages at the most unexpected times. Today I met with a friend who made me feel far more normal than I deserve and equally as odd as I have felt for a long while.

I’ve looked at the packing I need to do and Im very worried over the amount of stuff I’m taking. Gotta reduce it: weight is more of a problem than size but the stuff I’ve packed doesn’t include any clothes or comfort stuff for me!

Looks like the Eastern block chest wig will be staying at home.

Work is all but over. Although I have had holiday due and its been signed off so I can be paid for the first month while I’m away, there has been a mistake made and they want me to alter the holiday dates. While this means nothing to me and is easy for me to oblidge them, I feel used at the request. They knew the terms and signed up to them and their mistake is being acquisessed to by me and while it means no real harm the expectation that I should entertain their ideas and fall in line without so much as an aknowledgement gaules me.

It makes me remember how human you need to be when in business. Thinking of the shareholders does not excuse unethical behaviour in the market and does not excuse unhuman behaviour to your collegues.

So what started this idea of a trip away?

There are many reasons that have culminated into this, they range from boredom with life, not having lived the life I would have wanted and using the opportunity now, escaping a situation, rebounding from an ex, finding hope where there is none, being lonely, being busy with a fruitless search, finding no happiness in material gain and even wondering the meaning of life in a Monty Python kind of way.

As different circumstances and different days pull my thoughts around they react like a ballon being stretched before it’s blown. Each thought carries a different focus and today, I’m thinking about being told by a Director at work that I have reached as far as I’m going to get. This happened last April 08, about the same time as other things were going on, either gathering pace or coming to an end. Now I think that it was quite important to consider that if this is as far as I’m going to get, I’ll stop putting in the effort, concentrate on refining what I do into a shorter time span and then use the rest of the time to relax!

So what was a full time job is now measured in hours, I was going to set up another business on the side and see where it goes.

People need aspirations. without hopes and dreams we just stop, fall into a meaningless routine and look for the next sign that’s telling us where the exit is.

Communication, Expedition Preparation

The visa from Tajikstan came back from the Embassy in Austria today, I need to check it, but I’m glad its finally here. This one was reported to be the most difficult to get so I’m now feeling cheerful! I can get as far as the Pamir Pass at least before I foresee problems. The other visas for Uzbekistan, Iran and Turkmenistan I will just have to get on the hoof. Uz and Iran I will know more about in Poland but Turk will now have to go right to the wire and pick up in Almaty in Khazakstan. Pakistan is visa on entry and India I will have to think about as its not right. I’ll try to sort this one on the road too. I must look up the addresses for Indian embassies.

The beautiful curly girl was at Salsa tonight, horay but boo too!

Generally I’m feeling positive about everything, there are snags but there are also opportunities to see a little more, to make a more interesting trip out of a minor disaster.

I wonder how much research other people would have done in my shoes, I wonder how organised they would be by comparison.

I look forward to gathering kisses at my party next week, I look forward to leaving work, I regret not being a little more organised but I’m also excited by the idea of living by wits and having an excuse not to wash my pants along the way.

The Carnet has not come back yet, thats a big gulp! I need another Pacsafe 55, the other smaller Bajas are on order and look likely to be deliever next Friday…that’s also a worry!

I’ve managed to get a 12-Volt phone charger to work through the double pole isolator without creating the puff of fire works, the Autocom now works and the camera battery charger is good.

I need to remember to set the chain tension. Should I take a chain and sprockets or rely on being able to buy one… hmm

I’ve sewn some straps with velcro to fasten on a tank bag, would have been easy if it had a steel tank! I need to think about the need for a rucksack, I like the idea of convienience when I stop but dont want to carry it on my back. Oh and the peak is back on the helmet…

I suppose what I really need to do is fully pack, the panniers and the bike to see if it sighs and huffs and heaves as much as I would with that amount of weight on my back!

Equipment, Expedition Preparation, Visa's

Do you think Captain Cooke felt like this, right at the moment of the most important and life changing trip of his life? You think the Apollo missions had atmosphere in the spaceman rocket ships?

Did Sir Raleigh feel like this on the adventure that brought home my chips and quite probably, a good deal of fish?

I suppose these statements sound very vain, as though I’m comparing myself to people with true integrity and grit. My trip has little to do with going to the moon, finding a continent or bringing home a potato.

Still. You think the mixture of anticipation, excitement, fear and self endulgance were even slightly similar.

I hope so.

Growing up is a blogg for another another day.

Random Thoughts

I had high hopes that Shirley was going to be a Porridge Machine. Medium hopes at least. That was going to be the bright side smile to a dark and financially painful mend it, fix it episode.

With the gear box feeling as it does I assumed there was a good supply of porridge in there, enough to keep me going in the mountain cold!

BMW guys have taken it for a ride and apparently, it is what it is. There’s nothing wrong with it, the gears are exactly as they should be. I have to say this has more to say about Honda’s than it does BMW’s, but don’t tell Shirley that!

I think Shirley’s other name is Thumper, Shirley Thumper. Seems fitting given the nature of her beast.

I’ve fitted a new clutch cable and hope that’s going to help things, also fitted a new screen its a BMW original part and so I’m hoping its going to do away with the super speed vibrating nodding dog effect I mimick at 65mph.

I can relax and pack the emergency dental pack deeper in the panniers and not worry about the self adminstration temporary filling kit going off before I get a chance to use it.

The screen unfortunately is black but it is also noticably different to the other, considerably smaller and so the wind will hit more squarely. I think therefore I can refit the peak to the Tour X3.  I brought it home from the shop tucked into my jacket with the new MOT certificate. That idea didn’t last long, dropped it all at the first roundabout. That’s why bikes have panniers, but they would be much better if they weren’t in my living room.

The Uzbekistan Letter of Invite has been lost in the Embassy.  While this is unfortunate, maybe it will give reason for adventure later.

Getting any Visa in Moscow is, apparently, a very poor idea. It’s far too late now so I’ll have to think on my feet… wheels!

I’m going to rethink the packing lark and I have a sewing machine out at the moment making little straps to hold stuff on.

I hope this doesnt mean I’m turning to the pink side…

Two friends came round tonight, I gave them dishwater to drink that had been filtered through my sweetwater purifier and it tasted TERRIBLE. They were quite kind though and pretended it was ‘lemon squashy’ while i thought it was just ‘fairy liquidy’. They came baring gifts, one with music for the Nokia the other with a great gift, a St Nicholas engraved on the back with, ‘Every sunrise and every sunset’.

I hinted that these days though I’m not much of an early morning person! I woke the other day and realised that mornings are getting earlier and earlier. Sunrises in the winter are easy. Sunrises in summer - a whole new challenge!

One of them burped as they left, a bubble came out.

Communication, Expedition Preparation, Random Thoughts

While I dont want to have any illegal activites going on…can anyone work out how to download all the world maps onto my mobile…a free map pack would be just great!
Also the phone has a positioning system in it that works constantly…Is there anyway to turn this on and use it to map my movements on the web?

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A twig snapped and the wind howled and I realised in the cold dark of the night that I am softy thats a culmination of 38 years of comfortable living.
I think I need a bandana and some clip on earrings to make me look tougher!
Unless of course the clip on earings are Diamante!

Last night I was considering what a scaredy cat I really am , lying in bed all comfortable and warm and begining to have the reality of this journey dawn on my consciousness.

Up till now Ive been all, ‘oh its fine, people are lovely!’ and now the day gets closer and closer Im thinking of just what the reality might be compared to the fantasy Ive lived through my minds eye.

I dont do aggresion, I have a problem showing when Im annoyed let alone anything further and threatening…Chris Evans once said he had never had a fight and considered a smile and laugh cures all situations. I do agree. Winning people over is far more powerful than aggresive tactics but then I had a friend from Nottingham Police give me some advice, ‘ when you have passed through Germany - buy a gun’

Should I carry a big stick and walk softly?

Should I carry some kind of weapon. A knife perhaps, I thought i would have a potatoe peeler!

When the trouble starts I quickly peel and core an aggressor!

No, while I might be considered naive, I think there is no need for this kind of equipment. If you have aggressive thoughts and tools you will find the problems your creating in your mind.

Besides, isn’t that just incredibly anti ‘faith’, to carry a weapon of any sort is tantamount to admitting defeat before the start of the journey.

Perhaps more apt would be to not be quite so anal about matching colours to the bke, being all new and shiney is great but it also portrays an affleuence that will attract attention.

I must try to be less conspicuous, its quite natural to just get what you need and make cohesive choices, now is the time to release myself from the uptight nature and relax into more of a mess!

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So I hadn’t finished, afraid I nodded off…

It was the fuse that had blown, a 15amp fuse. I’m glad I worked it out, simple as it was. It’s kind of a security blanket that made a great difference.

It’s  very simple and probably more so to some people, but to sit and work it out was quiet refreshing.

I did’nt so much work it out as to think of the last things I had fiddled with and the electrics was one of them. I’ve fitted a little box of switches which run through a double pole isolator and the leads from the switches fit multi pulgs so I can charge a camera battery, the phone and the Autocom.

When I had the 12v phone charger, I didn’t look inside but chopped the cables and fitted it to the switches, it didn’t work then I found there are capacitors inside so I wired them in, but crossed the cables. When it blew it went with with such a cool pop! You know how you never get to know what’s in these tricky electrical bits, well it fluff, nothing but fluff, it goes bang with a celebration of firework fluff and smoke!

So I’m hoping that this was the contributing factor to the 15amp fuse blowing, I cant really see why it might be or how it would go the wrong way round a circuit, but I have to have hope in some odd ball theories other wise I’ll never get started!

So, back home I thought the gear change is pants and took it to BMW who agree its knackered, too soft and like stirring porridge. I have to get up tomorrow morning and drop it off for them to take a look, I’m hoping they will open a valve and hot porridge will run out making the gears more positive.

Handy thing on a long journey, a porridge machine.

Also found the screen is and aftermarket extra which is why it doesnt really fit properly, the bolt holes dont line up, it’s twisted which is how it cracked and why I get buffetted around so much by the draft from it. BMW have a new screen for me, it’s black which is a shame, but at least it’s an original part and so should do the job properly.

Gradually I’m realising that after market spares are a waste of time and money, never fit and don’t do the job they are supposedly designed for. I’m going to be more careful from now on, even patent parts for servicing are not quite right.

Finally for now, peel an orange, dry the skin and apparently it becomes a fantastic firelighter!

Must be worth remembering that - it will be handy I’m sure!

Equipment, Expedition Preparation

I’ve been today to Stourbridge to get the panniers from Stahl Koffer.

As I pulled the bike out the garage, Martin Launderette turned up. I later scooted over to see Bernie and this time the MP3 was fine, the bike was good, the peak on the helmet was off and I realised that I need to reduce the windscreen height if the vibration is to ever stop!  It’s a vibration that jarrs the teeth to such a high frequency you can feel fillings picking up Radio One when all you really want to hear is Country!

Later, at BMW I found that not only has the bike got an after market screen that doesn’t fit the bill, or the screw holes but the seat has been lowered. These two things together could mean I’m getting a terrible draft.

Pulled up outside Bernies, then set off to his workshop and the bike stopped. It’s hard to say if it stalled or if it revved and cut when I put on the revs to pull off but it stopped and would not start.

So, you tell me between here and the end of this blog, you gotta work out the problem.

Lights work, dashboard is lit up, it turns over but does not want to fire. There is fuel in the tank, the fuel light hasn’t come on. The oil is topped and ok and its not over heated.

Bernie went to get some bits and I said I would fiddle for a while. If it wasn’t in public, I would have…

I thought I should take off the seat and maybe look at the fairings for a while. I looked at the bike and thought of the Pamir Pass and worried about how I would get through it.  I also thought there is more than one way to deal with anything thats a problem or a solution and while the run home with the break down man was a wimp out, the last time I had to do this I had a great night! So I called for the breakdown guy and while I was on the phone I thought I had an answer.

The previous day I was doing a three handed job with two hands and might have put the blow torch on the control panel. It did smell a little as I was shrinking some heat wrap on some cables. I thought about this for a minute and considered there is no decent ’stuff’ under the dash.

Equipment, Expedition Preparation

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